Speaking to strangers
Plus ten tips about how to do it.
Every time I go on Instagram, I see an endless stream of awkward street interviews. One “creator” who keeps cropping up is Marq Cravo, a South African portrait photographer who stalks Buchanan Street in Glasgow, asking random strangers if he can take their picture.
Each video follows the same formula: stop someone in the street, have a brief chat, take a few flattering photos, and finally show the person how beautiful they look while sentimental music plays in the background.
I hate the aesthetic. For me, it recalls what Nabokov condemned with the Russian word poshlust: “Corny trash, vulgar clichés, Philistinism in all its phases, imitations of imitations, bogus profundities, crude, moronic, and dishonest.”
It could also be sour grapes on my part for not having had the idea first. Buchanan Street is one of the three streets I documented last year, and I have taken similar portraits to his. Yet this guy is on the BBC.
Nevertheless, much of Cravo’s popularity on Instagram (122K followers compared to a mere 35K on TikTok) is likely because he uses Meta’s smart glasses to record the interaction. It appears that, having failed to convince people to migrate to the Metaverse, the company formerly known as Facebook is embedding its technology in regular glasses and presumably using its algorithm to boost the visibility of those who wear them. Those he meets have no idea that he is recording them, but I have been told by people who have met him that he promises to delete footage of those who say no.
While some people clearly love Cravo’s stylised portraits, the main reason they watch is because of the sense of jeopardy in speaking to strangers. The final photo is relatively unimportant, but the encounter itself is filled with potential vulnerability.
As Keir Starmer says, we have become “an island of strangers.” Not because of mass immigration, but because many find it impossible to speak to someone they don’t know. With ubiquitous headphones and eyes glued to their smartphones, young people “don’t know how to conduct conversations.”1
The decline of small talk is a catastrophe that, according to Viv Groskop, is leading to a “world of intense and often unnecessary division.” Perhaps this is why so many are obsessed with street interactions on social media.
I was sent Groskop’s article by a friend who suggested that I write tips for talking to new people. “You have a lot of experience,” Caspar said. “Maybe they would find it useful.”
Indeed, I find it easy to talk to people, no matter who they are. Perhaps the world would benefit from developing these skills. Here, behind the paywall, are my secrets to speaking with strangers …
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